The Real Wonder of the World
by awintea
Summary: royalpair // Atobe thinks it's unfair that he wasn't chosen to be one of the Seven Wonders of the World // oneshot.


The _Real_ Wonder of the World

Done for a challenge by Dudly-san. I think she enjoys making me write more than 500 words per story.

Oneshot Summary: Atobe can't help but complains at the unfairness of life. Why in hell didn't they choose Ore-sama to be one of the Seven Wonders of the World?

Must be over 777 words.

x The _Real_ Wonder of the World - 777 words.

Atobe Keigo barged into the Hyoutei Boy's Tennis change room, slamming the door with a disruptive bang. Atobe's hair was already dishevelled and it looked like it had been in a hurricane. Or through really, _really_ rough sex. With Atobe, you never knew. He held up a piece of paper and waved it around crazily.

The other regulars looked at him strangely.

'Ne, Yuushi. Atobe's finally lost it.' Mukahi Gakuto stared at Atobe who was still waving said sheet of paper around.

'Yeah. His hair's a complete disaster. Something's wrong.' Oshitari Yuushi looked at Atobe with faint interest, wondering what on earth could have made the dive Atobe come to practice with hair like _that_.

'Choutarou... I think we should leave.' Shishido Ryou pulled his double's partner closer to him to keep him out of harm's way, as Atobe was nearing them. Shishido was not using Atobe's craziness as an excuse to hug Ootori. Not at all.

Ootori Choutarou, being the very nice guy that he was, asked, 'Atobe-san, is there something wrong?'

Before Atobe could answer though, somebody started talking.

'...In Atobe's current state of mind, I'll be able to easily defeat him-'

All of the regulars shouted, 'Shut up, gekokujou freak,' because Wakashi Hiyoshi was simply too annoying and would never ever beat Atobe, even if Atobe was insane and had messed up hair.

'Look! Look at this!' Atobe held out the sheet, holding it only with his thumb and index finger, as though he was scared it might have contaminated him.

The regulars (minus the sleeping Jirou) all crowded around the sheet of paper, still curious in spite of their fear of Atobe's insanity.

At the top of the sheet were the words, 'The New Seven Wonders'. There was the Great Wall of China, Petra in Jordan, Christ Redeemer in Brazil, Machu Picchu in Peru, Chichén Itzá in Mexico, the Roman Colosseum in Italy, and the Taj Mahal in India below it in pictures and captions.

Shishido said to Atobe, 'Well?'

Oshitari explained. 'The New Seven Wonders of the World is a modern choice of what the seven wonders should be.'

'So what's wrong with it?' Gakuto asked.

'Look!' Atobe pointed at the sheet with his other hand. 'Can't you see something _missing_?'

'Nope.'

'Can't.'

'What's missing?'

Atobe sighed, sad that his regulars were all a bunch of brainless idiots. 'Ore-sama is not on this list!'

Shishido replied, 'Of course not.'

'What do you mean, of course not?' Atobe looked at Shishido sternly. 'Why wouldn't ore-sama be on the list? Ore-sama is a wonder _beyond_ this world! Ore-sama should be the _only_ thing on this list! Only ore-sama is enough of a wonder to be on the 'New Seven Wonders' list! Isn't ore-sama...'

As Atobe continued talking to an absent audience, the other (relatively sane) regulars started talking among themselves.

Gakuto whispered, 'I knew he was crazy... but not this crazy.'

'His narcissism is greater than I had assumed,' Oshitari commented.

'Is Atobe-san sick or something?' Ootori sounded worried for his buchou.

Shishido muttered, 'Nah. He was always this conceited, I think.'

Meanwhile, Atobe continued. 'Ore-sama can understand if he wasn't on the _original_ list, as he hadn't been born yet. But why wasn't ore-sama on the 'New Seven Wonders' list? This is a disgrace to ore-sama's reputation!'

'What reputation?' Shishido scoffed.

'Ore-sama will not allow this! Ore-sama wasn't even in the runner-ups! Ore-sama wasn't even _nominated_ to be one of the New Seven Wonders!'

Shishido cracked. 'If you wanted to be on it _that badly_, why didn't you just nominate _yourself_?'

Atobe stared at him. Atobe realized that Shishido really _was_ an idiot. 'Ore-sama couldn't do that. Obviously, someone who _respected_ ore-sama's incredibility should have done it _for_ ore-sama.'

Atobe went back to his rant. 'And why _didn't_ someone nominate ore-sama? Did nobody recognize ore-sama's wonderful traits? Why...'

'He'll never shut up,' Gakuto grumbled. 'I want to get to tennis practice, but he's in front of the door. Even watching movies with Yuushi is less annoying then this.'

Oshitari frowned, but replied, 'We'll have to find a way.'

And then, Atobe's cellphone rang, making him stop mid-rant. He picked it up, irritated, and said into the phone, 'What is it? Ore-sama is very angry right now because ore-sama wasn't chosen to be part of the New Seven Wonders-'

Atobe stopped talking. And then replied, 'Oh. Okay then.'

He turned to the regulars, who simply stood there, gaping, and wondering who the hell had made Atobe shut up.

'What are you doing?' Atobe ordered, 'Get to practice!'

Oshitari thought that the person who made Atobe shut up was the _real _wonder of the world. x owari

x omake

'What is it? Ore-sama is very angry right now because ore-sama wasn't chosen to be part of the New Seven Wonders-'

'Monkey King, if you don't shut up _right now_, I'm taking back what I said earlier about going on a date with you this Friday.'

'Oh. Okay then.' Then, Atobe shouted, 'What are you doing? Get to practice!' He then said to the phone, 'See you Friday, brat.' He hung up.

Echizen Ryoma put down the phone and smiled.

Atobe was the one paying on Friday.

x x x

How was it? Insane? Idiotic? Imaginative? Or another I- adjective? Anyway, please review if you liked it! And flames and criticism are welcome. - awinchan


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